Often men do not know how to start a conversation with a girl that they liked. The ability to easily and naturally start a conversation with representatives of the opposite sex comes with age and experience.
The knowledge of successful variants of the first phrases and the ability to make the right compliments will achieve significant success. In the article you will find which words are better to say.
In preparation for meeting you must do the following:
Tune in the right way. Good mood and confidence in success are important conditions for obtaining a positive result.
Tidy appearance. The general impression of a man’s appearance is formed by a girl from the style of his clothes, hairstyle, cleanliness and well-groomed body (condition of hair, nails, teeth, etc.). In clothes, it is important to adhere to standard norms - not to dress too much, but not to look scruffy.
All things should be clean, stylish, fit well. Of particular importance is the smell - it should be pleasant. Even an attractive man, who smells of sweat, can immediately scare away the interlocutor.
Decide on a place to search. You must choose the right place and time. It is best to start communication in the daytime or earlier in the evening in crowded places. It can be a cafe, a cinema, a park, a street, a night club, transport, etc. Daylight hours and a large number of people around significantly reduce the risk that the chosen applicant will refuse to enter into dialogue because of fear.
Outline an approximate floorn It is impossible to plan the whole process of talking with a girl to the smallest detail, but it is advisable to adhere to a certain strategy. It’s important for a guy to understand what purpose he is getting to know, what type of clothes to choose, how much money to take for communication in a chosen place.
Psychology of communication with girls
If a young man has not mastered the art of communicating with the opposite sex, then he is unlikely to count on the fact that he will be successful with girls or any of his relationships will last happily ever after.
The first step is to establish contact with the person you like. If you do everything right, then after a few minutes of communication the girl will have the impression that you have known each other for a long time and you can be trusted.
Girls are usually quite sensitive and emotional, and to capture her attention, it is not enough just to have conversations with her - it is important to be able to evoke emotions. How to do this the easiest? Of course, with the help of flirting and compliments. During flirting, do not forget to resort to humor, so that communication with you is not stifling, but easy.
Talking to the person who attracted you, let her know that she is really interesting to you, and not just as a friend, but as a potential lover. If sympathy is mutual, then the girl will relax and respond to your efforts. A date should not look like an exchange of information - dilute it with compliments (perhaps with a slight banter), often look into her eyes, smile.
Many guys make the mistake of trying to tell the girls as much about themselves as possible in order to impress them, and at the same time pay little attention to the information that they are trying to convey to them. Noting for himself the "clues" voiced by the interlocutor, the guy can easily build a further conversation with her, asking leading questions on a particular topic.
Also, this method is useful in that the girl sees the interest of the guy and understands that he is listening to what she tells him. Any representative of the fair sex is pleased to know that she is interesting to the young man as a person, and his attention to details will clearly point this out to her. The interlocutor understands that your conversations are not superficial. In this case, you do not need to immediately ask questions as soon as the girl voices any fact - it's not about that at all. You need to remember what she says and ask some questions later.
Also an equally important skill is to provide the girl with details about himself, and not to remain silent. Start interesting topics that she can then develop. So she will feel more comfortable, understanding that she too can prove herself as an attentive and interested interlocutor.
How to approach the girl you like
Many guys approach a girl even worse than starting a conversation with her, and that is why many wonderful acquaintances did not take place in the world. Leave this fear behind so as not to miss your chance. Behave simply and naturally. Some girls are afraid of dating on the street, not wanting to become a victim of a pick-up, therefore, the more elaborate you try to attract her, the more likely it will start to move away. Try to come up and just say: “I’m very afraid that you will refuse, but still I hope that you will say your phone number.” In the first second, the girl may be confused, then you sincerely add: “I really liked you, let's try to talk!”. If you even attracted a little girl, then she will surely give you a phone number. Some girls are embarrassed to dictate their number - in this case, give her your phone and ask her to dial herself, or give her a pen and a diary where she can enter the number. Perhaps this method seems to you too straightforward and imagination offers you many other options. In this case, try to do as your intuition tells you.
What topic to talk about
First of all, find out what the girl’s name is, then later pronouncing her name. Also do not forget to introduce yourself. The point with the pronunciation of her name is very important - many girls like it when a young man calls them by name, this immediately puts them at their disposal. Note that you really like how her name sounds. Find out what it means. If the girl does not know the answer, imagine your option, which she will surely be flattered to hear.
Of course, the first conversation should not include any intimate hints and vulgar topics - this can confuse the interlocutor. Also, there is no need to tell the girl about problems with relatives or difficulties of any other nature - your communication should be easy. Of course, if the girl herself is prone to revelation, and you like it, then in this case you can decide on reciprocity. And yet, do not start such topics first - for many interlocutors, such conversations will seem offensive.
How to behave to interest a girl
The girl will be interested in a guy who knows how to conduct a conversation - this applies both to live communication and to online conversations. If you feel that you have problems with this, then develop all the skills of a good storyteller, taking an example from a more sociable friend or by studying online lessons in this regard. You should have some fascinating stories in stock that you can fill in awkward pauses in the conversation. Topics can be very diverse - your first culinary experience, impressions of a trip and much more. If you understand that you have absolutely nothing to tell, then you are unlikely to interest a girl - make your life richer and more diverse, and then new stories will not keep you waiting.
It is important not only to be a wonderful storyteller, but also to remember another participant in the conversation. This means that you should not reduce all your speeches to yourself - do not forget to give the girl appropriate and preferably not beaten up compliments, listen with interest to what she tells you.
How to talk to a girl if she is silent
If you do your best to talk in silence in the first minutes of your acquaintance, then this will only push you away from you. This girl is probably shy, and in order to begin to reveal herself to the interlocutor, she may need more than one meeting. It is important to understand this, and not to emphasize this. If you like a girl, do not tell her: "You are constantly silent, I don’t know what to talk about with you." She can be closed even more. Show that you are in any case pleasant and comfortable in her company, play “peepers” with her, first ask questions that do not require a detailed answer, subsequently “building up the pace” and touching on broader topics. The main advice in this situation: only an open and sociable person can speak in silence. If you feel that you can not cope, then leave this venture. If the girl is interesting to you, then your work will not be in vain - such silent people, as a rule, are embarrassed only in the company of unfamiliar people, and with relatives they turn out to be quite interesting and deep interlocutors.
Building the right dialogue with the girl
Two of its participants are involved in building the dialogue, and it is important to remember this. Of course, if a girl is silent, and so long as she is embarrassed to open up, it will be right if you mainly will have the conversation. But even in this case, at least occasionally you need to ask her questions. If the girl is not distinguished by increased shyness, then you should not "pull the blanket over yourself", trying to impress the person you like. Some guys are forgotten, and begin a continuous dialogue about their person, forcing the girl to be bored. It often happens that a girl, like, wants to tell something about herself, but first of all, the guy does not let her insert a word or immediately interrupts, again translating the conversation vector onto herself. It is important to learn to be an attentive conversationalist, and not just an excellent storyteller.
Difficulties in communicating with a girl who likes and how to deal with them
Of course, it all depends on what kind of difficulties are in mind. Let's consider some of them.
The girl is ignoring. Despite the fact that you often call her, invite you to dates, arrange surprises, the girl not only does not show much interest in communicating with you, but sometimes even ignores you. In this case, it is inappropriate to take even more initiative. Probably, you either do not like the girl, or she is interested in something else, or she now has problems of a different kind and she is not up to your courtship. In this case, pause for a couple of weeks, and try again to get in touch. If the girl does not show interest in you again, then the pause has to be increased.
The girl agrees to dates, but not to sex. Try to identify the reasons for this behavior. If your relationship has romance, dates, kisses, but the girl is not ready to take the next step, carefully find out from her what this is connected with. You can directly say: “I am very happy with you, I like to spend time with you, but every day I understand that this is not enough for me, and I would like us to get closer. Don't you want the same? ” Already by her answer you will draw conclusions. It may be that the girl is just bored, and in your society periodically kills the cookie or uses you in some way. But this is the worst option. It is possible that she is a virgin, she has different ideas about the speed of approaching pairs, she is confused by something in your behavior, she is not sure of the seriousness of your intentions and the like. A frank conversation will give you more insight into the situation.
The girl does not show initiative. She enthusiastically responds to offers on dates, always answers calls and messages, but she never takes the first steps. Perhaps the girl was brought up with the understanding that a man should always take the initiative, and a woman should take it, and any other model of relationships seems wrong to her. In this situation, ignoring a few days may help. If the girl herself will not call, then you call, and find out why she did not call. She may begin to make excuses for waiting for a call from you. Then invite her to meet and "seriously talk." On a date, explain to the girl that both people build a relationship, and if she remains the same without initiative, then you will have a difficult time.
Smart words for communication that hurt girls
If you want to impress a girl, “hurt her soul”, strike her memory, then it will not hurt you to turn to the work of the classics. Perhaps, from this side, the interlocutor does not expect to know you at all. Take on board a few quotes that you can skillfully use in your conversation. Just do not need to quote statuses, which are in abundance in various groups in VK - if they caught your eye, then, most likely, the girl already read them. Search the Internet for quotes about love, quotes about relationships, quotes about friendship, and so on. Think about what you are likely to talk with the girl, and make the appropriate preparations. In order not to get confused yourself, choose small sayings, but spectacular.
What might it look like? For example: “You know, even though Brodsky said, the house is a place where you are not asked too many questions,” but with us it’s often not at all like that. ” It can be said with a smile and then some story on this subject will follow. In general, think in advance, phrases with which you can effectively “shine”.
How to communicate with a girl so that she falls in love
Take care. Girls often fall in love with guys who take care of them and pay attention to them. Nowadays, girls are increasingly complaining about narcissistic men, so a caring and attentive male will undoubtedly stand out from these “daffodils”. care can be shown in small things - throw a jacket over her shoulders on her shoulders in cold weather or offer to warm up in a cozy place (for example, in an interesting coffee shop or restaurant). If the girl is sick, send her a bouquet of flowers with a note in which you express hope for her speedy recovery.
Traditional courtship. Many men now fundamentally do not want to pay for a girl in a cafe and other institutions, believing that since both of their participants are interested in the relationship, they should invest equally. By the way, many women have long come to terms with this trend, and they themselves offer to pay for themselves, so as not to be in a stupid position. Nevertheless, such a relationship cannot be called correct. If a girl manages to meet a man who is familiar with traditional courtship (to pay for it in a movie, in a cafe), then she will probably choose him, sincerely admiring this “chivalrous” behavior. It would not occur to a sensible man to call a woman mercantile for this — he himself is humiliated by a situation where he cannot pay coffee to his lady. Even if your girlfriend easily and without question pays everything on an equal footing with you, then be sure that this situation subconsciously is unpleasant for her. In response to the traditional courtship of a man, a girl usually gives no less (and in a monetary sense, too!) In the form of surprises, gifts, romantic dinners - for a man who is afraid to spend an extra ruble on her, she herself will try with less enthusiasm.
Compliments. Some representatives of the fair sex periodically complain to friends about the inattention of a partner - this leads to a cooling of feelings. When a guy is attentive, it acts in the opposite direction. If a girl bought a new dress, then she certainly wants to hear that it suits her very much, and she looks gorgeous in it. If she went to the hairdresser, then tell her that she has very soft and shiny hair. The girl, who is engaged in the gym for several hours a week, will be glad to hear that she has an amazing figure. Notice any changes in the appearance of the chosen one, and mark them. There is an opinion that the more attention we pay to someone, the more active is the interest on the part of this person. You can check it out in practice!
I don’t know how to communicate with girls what to do
Pickup trainings. Many believe that such trainings primarily teach how to "breed a girl for sex." In fact, this is not at all paramount. you will not achieve any intimacy if you do not learn to communicate with the opposite sex. That is why it is more correct to say that, first of all, at such trainings they teach precisely the art of communicating with girls. Of course, then you already use the acquired skills in the way you want.
If you don’t have the opportunity to personally attend such trainings, then you may be interested in online courses - you will most likely need to easily find on the Web, guided by your favorite reviews. You can also read for free some of the recommendations that pickup gurus share in various videos.
It is possible that you have a friend who can easily start a conversation with almost any girl and interest her. Observe it from the side, draw conclusions for yourself. If it is a close friend, then frankly ask him to point out your mistakes and give any recommendations.
Основные ошибки при общении с девушками
1. Чрезмерная лесть
Прочитав совет про то, что девушки любят комплименты, вы можете начать «заваливать» девушку восхищенными речами, что в итоге может ей лишь оттолкнуть. Комплименты следует использовать дозировано, тем более, если вы еще не состоите в близких отношениях. Otherwise, the girl will feel insincerity and decide that you apparently behave like that with everyone.
It so happened that girls are more accustomed to self-confident man - very few people prefer shy or reserved young people. If you have a goal to please a girl, then try to gain confidence in yourself.
3. Monotony and lack of initiative
Your meetings are of the same type, you walk along the same routes. If some changes appear in the usual routine, then usually a girl initiates them. Many people can gradually get bored with such monotony to such an extent that she will begin to avoid meetings.
4. Memories of ex-girls
If in the company of a current or potential girl, you periodically recall the former sweetheart, without suggestive questions from the interlocutor, then in the end it can push you away. She will decide that you are just stuck in the past.
Some young people like to embellish, or even invent their own achievements, colorfully painting them in front of the interlocutor. Most often, it is immediately obvious to the girl that the guy is either very narcissistic or loves to embellish information about himself - neither the first nor the second option delights the girls. It becomes especially unpleasant when the guy himself pierces his lies or the truth comes up by accident.
6. Tactlessness and obscene words
Demonstrating your rudeness or regularly expressing obscene thoughts, you might think that you look cool in the eyes of girls, but the vast majority do not like it at all. Moreover, if a girl knows that in life you often allow yourself a mate, but with it you restrain yourself, then most likely this will be a big plus for you on her part.
In conversations with you, it somehow turns out that very often you are unhappy with someone, angry at someone, you see injustice in something. The more negativity that comes from you, the more the girl will have a desire to distance herself from this.
You do not remember many of her words, and in your subsequent conversations this becomes obvious. During a conversation, you are often distracted by phone calls, write someone sms, check social networks. Perhaps this way you are trying to show her your relevance. All the described manipulations clearly indicate to the girl that you are not too interested in talking with her, and at the moment there are things that seem more important to you. This will not add you points in her eyes.
Behavior during dating should be natural, confident and at the same time restrained. Any girl prefers to see in her boyfriend, above all, a real man with whom she will feel calm and reliable.
A similar desire is inherent in nature - the female chooses the most successful male. But it’s important not to go too far - excessive arrogance and swagger only repel.
Trying to be confident, it’s important to stay natural. If by nature a man is calm and modest, then pretended gaiety and liveliness will look stupid and repulsive. Any person can be self-confident, regardless of temperament.
The behavior should be slightly different depending on what type the candidate chosen for dating belongs to. You can determine this by her appearance, gait, look, manner of speaking (a couple of first phrases are enough).
There are three main types of girls:
- Simple. They have a pleasant soft voice, feminine manners, a kind and honest look, an open smile, simple clothes and hairstyle. With such interlocutors it is necessary to start a conversation in a friendly and friendly manner, trying to arouse sympathy. It is important not to rush things. They love calm conversations on common topics.
- Bitch. This type is most attractive to men, but also more difficult to make acquaintance.
With this type, you need to behave confidently, try to show your own significance, but also give them the opportunity to express themselves in a conversation.
Next, we’ll talk about where to start dating girls.
What to talk with a girl when meeting?
There are a lot of options for the first phrases for dating. A man needs to use those that are most convenient for him and suitable for a particular situation. All phrases are divided into three types, each of which differs in a certain efficiency: contextual, directive, template.
Contextual phrases for girls are determined by the situation, based on the results of observation of the woman and the environment. This may be a remark regarding her appearance (especially effective - to note the nuances of her appearance, which clearly distinguish her from the majority), behavior, gait, which is in her hands, subject, environment, etc.
This approach is the most effective.. Girls immediately begin to feel that they really interested a person and he does not address them with standard wording.
Examples of contextual first phrases when meeting a girl:
- Tell me, is this street really the longest in the city?
- You do not know where the famous cafe with delicious ice cream is located in this park? Would you keep me company?
- Let me shelter you from the rain. Such a heavy rain, and you are without an umbrella.
- You are already in a hurry for business so early in the morning. You are probably an early bird?
- Today is a terrible heat. Tell me, where did you buy this bottle of cold mineral water?
- What an original hairstyle you have! What is it called?
- Let me tell you what an amazing posture you have. You must be dancing?
- You were not told that you look like Sharon Stone (any other famous person with an attractive appearance)?
- Probably, walking on such high heels in icy conditions requires a lot of skill. How do you do it?
Directive phrases immediately put a woman before the fact that they want to get to know her. They are less effective than contextual ones, since the probability of receiving instant and unambiguous failure increases.
This approach should be used by confident, charming men with good external data, who have high chances to like at first sight.
What to say to a girl when meeting - directive phrases:
- What are you doing tonight?
- May I meet you?
- You are so pretty. What is your name?
- Let me ask for your phone number.
- How do you feel about communication on the street (in a cafe, park, etc.)?
- Are you aware that you are the girl of my dreams?
Patterned. Using pre-prepared template phrases, you can both ruin everything and achieve success. An important condition for the effective use of speech patterns is the consideration of two conditions: the selection of the most suitable options for yourself, continued communication in the key of initially spoken words.
Examples of template phrases about what to talk with a girl when meeting:
- Doesn't your mom need a good son-in-law?
- God, where did such beauty come from?
- Hey. I always dreamed of meeting such a beautiful fairy like you.
- Don't you think that we met somewhere?
- Call an ambulance, I will lose consciousness from the contemplation of such beauty.
- You are so beautiful that I don’t even know how to start talking with you.
- Tell me, what is it like to be the most beautiful in the city?
- Tell me, is it difficult to meet you by chance?
Often the first sentence turns out to be the last, as the girl instantly sews the boyfriend off. The reason for this may be the presence of a permanent partner, the unattractive appearance of the applicant, distrust of random people, problems and bad mood, fear, embarrassment, poorly selected first wording.
In most cases, failure does not necessarily mean complete failure. The weaker sex loves confidence and determination in men. If the rejection is answered in a friendly, original and fun way, then the girl can change her mind. At the same time, it is important to monitor her reaction and prevent the manifestation of an aggressive attitude, otherwise it is unlikely that something will change.
The specific text of the phrases in response to the rejection received:
- You do not want to get acquainted because I'm ugly? It's not my fault, these are all genes. But I'm smart and kind.
- The answer “no” is not accepted. You just have to talk to me.
- You understand that I will not survive failure. Take pity on the unfortunate.
- I can see through the eyes that you want to talk to me, just shy.
With what words to start dating a girl:
What to talk about with a girl when meeting in a conversation?
After overcoming the most difficult first stage of engaging in a conversation, you must try to interest the girl in conversation. It is important to immediately make it clear that a decent and adequate young man just decided to get acquainted with a passer-by he liked.
In the first moments of a conversation, a woman usually doubts whether any fraudster, drug addict, advertising distributor, etc. Therefore, an adequate and short explanation will be very helpful. For example: "I'm going to work, I saw you and decided to come up."
When the barrier of mistrust is overcome, you can start a conversation. Speak preferably on general topics:
- Cinema, music. You can ask about your favorite films and actors, songs and artists, genres, the frequency of visits to the cinema, etc. More practical tips are written here.
- Cafes, bars, clubs. Favorite places, frequency of visits, purpose of trips, etc.
- Parks, squares, various city vacation spots. What type of leisure is most attractive, which places are your favorite, in which company you like to walk (a large and noisy group of friends, alone, with a guy, etc.).
- Relations. You can learn about the criteria for choosing a guy, past relationships, the degree of romance or pragmatism, etc.
- Miscellaneous. You can talk about anything - weather, travel, animals, politics, social events, etc.
During a conversation, it is important to pay attention to the facial expressions of the girl and her reaction. If the topic of the conversation is clearly unpleasant for her, you must change it right away. About questions that you can ask, we wrote in detail in this article.
The mention of the former will cause annoyance.
When meeting a young man, the interlocutor wants to learn as much as possible about him. Often it is only required to answer incoming questions, but if she is embarrassed to ask questions herself, You might think that tell about yourself. For example:
- Financial situation (income, brand of car, availability of real estate, career success, etc.).
- Relatives and friends (description of the circle of relatives and friends).
- Life position (character, goals, dreams, attitudes, attitude towards people, expectations from a life partner, etc.).
We compliment correctly
There are two types of compliments: direct and indirect. Direct compliment - This is an open praise for the girl. For example - “You are so beautiful”, “You are very smart”, etc. An indirect compliment allows praising the peculiarity inherent in the interlocutor, without focusing on it specifically.
For example - “Are you a doctor? This is the most important profession ”,“ Tall women always attract the attention of men. ” Usually compliments are issued in the address of appearance, skills, success, behavior, attitudes, charm.
How to meet a girl in an original way: examples
There are a large number of unusual and cool first phrases that they will certainly be appreciated by their interlocutor and will make her smile:
- Good evening. What are your plans for the coming decades? I suggest spending this time together.
- Tell me, what time is it now? And how much free do you have for me?
- Have you been to Paris? Me neither. Let's discuss the details of our journey together.
- Are you against communicating with married men? That's good, because I'm single.
- Good afternoon. Do you want me to make you happy?
- Hey. Do not tell me how you like it?
During the conversation you need to be confident and natural, unobtrusively compliment and keep the conversation in the right direction.
Additional information on what to say to a girl when meeting on a video: