Useful Tips

Bad friends

Hello, Katya, it’s hard to say unequivocally that with you, researching yourself to understand is a process, a psychologist can help you with this.

The interesting thing is:

"I have never had a relationship, because no one likes it.In general, I think that in my city I can’t find a normal guy. "- you have an interesting attitude towards the opposite sex, I wonder where you got this attitude from? Maybe you learned it somewhere from someone somewhere and now use it as your own? And what is your position? It reads from the letter that" "I like the boys."

The question of whether a person has a different sexual orientation is solved with the help of psychological and psychiatric examination.

Regards and best regards,

Malova Anastasia Nikolaevna, psychologist Tyumen

"How to recognize a bad friend who uses me?"

  1. Selfishness. Answer honestly the question: what is your girlfriend as a person? Does it have such negative traits as selfishness, greed, excessive pride, vanity, envy, the desire to be better than others? You need to love yourself, but everything is good in moderation. And if the concept of measure is absent, a healthy sense of self-esteem can easily develop into egocentrism, selfishness, and subjudging. Let's call a spade a spade: a selfish girlfriend will always observe only her interests, using others for selfish purposes.
  2. Search for benefits. A friend calls or seeks meetings in most cases with only one purpose: to get something from you. And it doesn’t matter what exactly: advice, loan money, specific information, a thing, a request to bring, replace, sit with her child, walk her dog, etc. The most arrogant usually ask immediately "on the forehead", without unnecessary forewords. And with trickier conversations, it can last an hour or two. And you just won’t even notice how at some point it sounds: “Listen, I need help ...” or “By the way, but you don’t know ...?”. Everything, the work is done, the goal of the conversation is achieved: you help, it disappears. And a very important point: next time it will appear only when it again needs your knowledge, advice, money, services.
  3. Denial of assistance. Of course, friends need help, which you do regularly. But try to ask yourself something important for yourself from such a friend. Perhaps minor requests that do not require special returns of resources, she will fulfill. But, if we are talking about services that involve investing time, money, effort, then a bad friend will certainly find a reason to refuse: “Sorry, I'm busy ...”, “Oh, I don’t know ...”, “I need to think ...”, “I forgot ... ". She can say no friends, relatives, colleagues when he does not see any benefit for himself.
  4. Insincerity. Close people should trust each other. Do you trust or have more than once "caught" a friend in a lie? When a person repeatedly lies, he can get confused in his inventions, forget something from what was said. But you, for sure, notice a fraud and remember that at first a friend said one thing, and after a week it was already quite the opposite. It’s just that earlier it was beneficial for him to say so, and then it became profitable to “twist the phrase”.
  5. Ingratitude. Very often, self-serving friends "sit on the neck" of their victim and begin to manage it at their discretion. Getting support and help becomes so natural for them that they do not even consider it necessary to say basic “thanks” for the services provided. You gave practical advice, saved from the wrong step, brought to an interesting event, gave important contacts ... Super! Self-serving girlfriend happy to take it for granted, but thank you. will forget. And you just have to mentally say: “Please.”
  6. Guilty play. Pay attention to how you usually talk, in what vein. Do you notice after communication a pressing feeling, as if you were guilty of something in front of a friend, they owed something to her. She may ask for something, and when you fulfill the request, it turns out that by doing so they offended her or lowered her importance, showing her competence. And now you already feel guilty without guilt for being honest and responsive .... And the girlfriend needs this, because if you feel guilty, it means that you are easy to manipulate. (Read about friends manipulation.)
  7. Ignore. It can manifest itself in completely different ways. For example, a friend does not answer calls, SMS, requests, while she is justified by all kinds of innocent phrases, such as “there was no time”, “I forgot”, etc. But believe me, any person always remembers and finds time for what is really valuable, interesting and important for him.
  8. Reluctance to spend leisure time together. How often does a friend invite you to some events, meetings, walks, “gatherings”? You used to meet, have fun, and now you have no time? Any person needs friendly meetings and conversations. And this means that just meetings with you were replaced by meetings with someone else, more important, valuable and necessary.
  9. Failure to fulfill promises and agreements. “I forgot ...”, “It seemed to me ...”, “I did not think ...” - these are the most ridiculous of the possible excuses. You forget - write down, do not have time - call, changed plans - warn. This is just a matter of elementary respect for the person. If your girlfriend does not care that she regularly fails, disappoints, and upsets you, then this clearly characterizes her as a bad friend.
  10. Lack of interest in your concerns. If a friend only uses you, he is completely uninterested in how others live, what they worry about. Remember, maybe, when telling about your affairs and problems, you continually encounter a friend's indifferently wandering gaze or his stay in your thoughts. You say, but he doesn’t give any reaction, at best, he will say the attendant “understand” and translates the conversation to what is interesting to him. And if the desired has already been received, then the interest in the conversation disappears, and the comrade says goodbye ... in order to appear again at the next need to have something to fuck with you.
  11. Stealth. A fake girlfriend will not, on her own initiative, share those nuances of her life where you are useless and cannot help. And if you yourself are interested, you will get the evasive “Oh, I'll tell you another time, then.” Response. And, of course, this then never comes. Discussion of her life under an unwritten ban.
  12. Selfishness. “You need to be friends with this person”, “In our time, communication is everything”, “You need to get acquainted with ..., because through it is possible. ". Have you heard similar phrases from your friend? If so, you can be sure that she is with you only because she is beneficial in some way. As soon as you “close the shop”, refusing to give what she needs, the girlfriend will disappear faster than understand what did not please this lady.

"How to check whether she is friends or uses?"

- If you constantly call your girlfriend for some meetings, walks, trainings, to the gym, for shopping, etc., pay attention to whether she does the same. If a friend mentioned some event she’s about to attend, ask if you can keep her company. An open and sincere friend will happily agree: together, more fun and interesting. But if the response is a refusal with an indistinct excuse, it means that they simply parasitize you, not wanting to give anything in return.

- Provide some minor service, help in something and look at the response. If a person takes it for granted, and doesn’t even bother to say “thank you,” know: this is not just bad manners. This is an indicator that your desire to help is not valued, but taken for granted. Surely, you too often helped this person, so he got used to taking it, not even considering it necessary to give thanks.

- During communication, follow the facial expressions and eyes of a friend. If a friend uses you, she seeks to please in order to get what she wants. Do you notice insincerity, a tight smile, or pretense? She will strain her face muscles to smile, and this looks very unnatural. In this case, the eyes are empty and insincere. But, as soon as you start talking about yourself, about what she is not interested in, the smile will disappear and her whole appearance will “scream” about indifference. ” Indeed, lively interest, fire in the eyes, sincerity, unlike a smile, cannot be faked with just one muscle movement.

“Try saying no to your next request ... and get ready for reproaches.” If a friend uses you, she will certainly begin to manipulate phrases, such as "We are friends, we must help each other, I ask so little ...". If you begin to explain that you do not have the time, are tired or simply do not have the opportunity to help, this will not work. A selfish and selfish girlfriend will not go into your position, will not understand and will not accept rejection! After all, she was with you only because she could take what access is now closed. Stop helping - a friend will immediately drive you out of her life. And the reason is just right: you “left her in trouble”!

Unfortunately, such a person is difficult to change. It is much easier to change your attitude towards him. Remain just acquaintances, colleagues at work. Do not waste yourself on those who will never appreciate it. Indeed, you can give your love, warmth, sincerity and desire to help to other people, faithful, disinterested, open and kind. And a selfish, self-serving, bad girlfriend who uses loved ones for her own purposes, let him be happy .... But at a distance ... (Read about difference between friend and girlfriend.)

We recommend reading:

A touching letter to a friend about friendship: how to say “I'm sorry”

My dear friend,

Forgive me if I am not always with you, but remember that I am always with you, even if we are far from each other, you are always here in my heart.

Sorry for not calling you every day to ask how you are doing so that you can share your joy or pain with me.

I'm sorry that I often brought my problems to you, I talk too much about myself, and sometimes even tell the same story again and again.

I'm sorry that sometimes I didn’t answer your call ... maybe I just had a bad time and I needed to be alone. But it was wrong, because it is precisely for this that friends are needed to share both good and bad with each other!

Forgive me, dear, I did not always listen to your advice, and when they told me to do something, I did the opposite.

I'm sorry that sometimes, when you needed to complain to me, I was somewhere with someone, but not with you ... Forgive me!

But know that all I want is to see your smile, because when you are happy, I am happy, and when you are sad, I’m 2 times sadder!

Letter to a friend about friendship: touching to tears words of gratitude to a friend

My dear friend,

Thank you for being in my life, for the fact that one day you decided to become my girlfriend!

Thank you for not disappointing in me, although you know all my shortcomings. But you are with me and love me as much as I love you.

Thank you for listening to my complaints and always ready to regret and hold me!

Thank you for coming to me when I am sad, putting on our favorite song, pouring wine and driving away all my spleen!

Thank you for always holding my hand tightly, not allowing me to save in the face of difficulties, helping to rise from my knees and overcome all disappointments.

Thanks for the laughter and tears we share with each other!

My best friend,

Promise me that you will always be with me because I need you!

And I promise you that even with gray hair and trembling hands, I will still be with you, I will always be there and hold you.

Then let's talk about fun sleepless nights. When we walked through the bars, when we danced, as if no one was seeing.

Let's talk about those guys who disappointed us. And about those who stayed with us, who love us and value their love!

Let's talk about everything over a cup of tea, see photos, smile and hug.

Because true friendship is eternal, it is not afraid of time, nor distance, nor words, nor people ...

Your faithful friend.

Letter to a friend: thank you for having me!

You are always with me, my friend - in happiness and trouble, in the best and worst moments of my life. You are always there, in that corner of the heart, which is intended for the best people we meet.

If we were a couple, we would mark a serious anniversary of our relationship, which means that we were married, had an apartment, a child or even a dog.

In fact, you and I are a great couple - two crazy girls who never grow up, who refuse to give in to the harsh world and always support each other. With you I can be completely myself and I hope that you experience the same thing.

I want to thank you for being so worried about me and supporting me, steadfastly enduring all my dramas, my stupid mistakes and my daily stories. I want to thank you for entering my life and staying in it when many others came and went.

Thank you for reminding me, at times of need, of who I am and what is best for me. You make me make each of my stupid decisions.

You never, absolutely never made me feel bad because of my choice, I never heard a rebuke from you. Thank you for every time you told me: "Everything will be fine with you."

Thank you for all our memories and for those that we still have.

You are my best friend, sister, even if not bloody. And this is much more important, because God gives us blood relatives, and we choose friends and deserve it ourselves. And I am a very happy person, because it was you who wanted to become my friend!

Friendship Letter: Anniversary Words

What a pity that you and I haven’t been talking for many years. But don’t think, I remember everything ... I often remember you, and sometimes I feel sorry for the tears that our friendship ended like that. Or maybe it’s not over yet?

Maybe we just took a short break, then to start making friends again, with new strength, new emotions and impressions?

One way or another, I remember about our anniversary. I think you also remember her. Then, exactly 20 years ago, we met you. How young we beat! And naive. And that oath that we gave each other ... Do you remember her? It was like a test that we could not pass, I could not pass ... It was an oath to a true faithful friend from the same friend. We vowed that we would never part, we vowed to get married one day. Our oath said that we would protect each other in all situations. And even if we quarreled once, we vowed not to take offense at each other for long, to come to a meeting, there, in our place ... That’s our oath.

If you knew how many times I went there in the hope that you can give me your forgiveness. But I never met you under our willow tree, which bent branches and seemed to shed tears with me. Yes, I often came to our place after years. But I scold and reproach myself for not coming when it was needed. Probably, I myself missed my chance, I myself, with my own hands destroyed our friendship, my dear friend.

But do not think that I forgot about you. Not at all, I remember the expression on your face, your every mole, I often remember how you laughed: joyfully, sonorous, contagious. Unfortunately, we were not able to pass the test and the obstacles that life set before us.

On our 20th anniversary of my acquaintance, I want to give you this recognition. I am writing a letter, but I don’t know if I can send it to you. And indeed, perhaps you are already far away, you do not live where you never received my acknowledgment letter on our anniversary.

To you, my dear and dear friend, today I am writing this letter and I want it to be like an oath. An oath in my most sincere feelings for you. Let in recent years I did not say the right words to you. We didn’t talk to you at all. But, believe me, I think of you every day, I cry quietly at night, remember the time spent with you.

To you, my beloved, dear and best friend, I want to say that I have never met anyone like you on my way. You are the embodiment of femininity, wisdom. You are the one to which my heart and soul have always strived, you are the one to which I came for advice, and always received it.

So what happened, why couldn't we pass the friendship test? Believe me, it’s hard for me to stir up the past, it’s not easy to remember what, or rather, who stood between us. If only we knew how life would turn ... And with him, with the one whom I preferred you many years ago, we broke up. I could not bear the pain and humiliation. Still unbearable was the realization that I had betrayed our friendship. But then for me, our competition was just a game.

Sorry, but I couldn’t give Him to you, for some reason I decided that He must certainly become mine. I didn’t think about your feelings then. I just realized how painful and difficult it was for you. I recaptured Him, took the one whom you truly loved. But then I, your friend, did not know what pain I was causing you. I did not pass this test, now I do not have the right to call myself your girlfriend. Но мне бы этого так хотелось! Предательница дружбы – только этими словами я могу теперь зваться. И мне до слез обидно, что я предала нашу дружбу.

Мне остается только написать тебе письмо и надеяться, что ты простишь. Знаю, время упущено, я не стану тебя осуждать, если ты не пожелаешь подарить мне хотя бы минуту своего времени. Но если все-таки ты согласишься на встречу, знай, я буду ждать тебя на нашем месте. Ты только дай знать. I want to give you my feelings and confessions, talk about how you are dear to me and how I miss you. I sincerely want our friendship to have at least one more, the smallest chance. And if you give it to me, I promise, I will be able to pass this test.

I will become the best friend, faithful and sincere. No more men can stand between us.

My dear friend! If you read these lines, know: I miss you, I love you and sincerely believe that our friendship has a chance. So let's use it, try to revive our friendship. Believe me, I sincerely wish this ...

Happy birthday letter to girlfriend

Girlfriend, dear friend,
Ah, how much has been lived with you?
Not a day without each other
The guardian angel is my earthly one.
I’ll cry in your vest
And the heart will be more fun.
But this time good luck to you
I want to wish. Pour
Into a glass of sparkling wine -
We will drink it without a trace,
Though a little bit, but everything, to the bottom,
So that you always live in abundance
So that life is full of victories
So that men love you
And every day a bouquet of flowers
They took turns in turn!

My dear, kind, sympathetic and most beautiful friend, on this day you all shine with happiness and I would like to wish you that this radiance becomes brighter every day. I want to sincerely wish you a happy birthday. I am very glad that once you and I met, and this meeting became fatal for us. You are my best friend and know, for the sake of our friendship I am ready to do a lot. I will always come to your aid and lend a hand even when everyone will be against you, because our friendship means a lot to me and for your sake I’m ready for a lot, because it’s not easy to find a real friend, it’s even harder to keep him and help! I wish you to find your little female happiness in this vast world. Always stay the same well-groomed, beautiful and magnificent!

Many say that there is no female friendship, but you know that this is not so, because you and I went through all the sorrows and difficulties of life and stayed together. You are my best friend, I have no dearer than you and will never make friends. Accept my sincere congratulations on this wonderful day - the day of your birthday! I want to wish you a clear sky above your head, a thick wallet and unlimited happiness. I also want to wish you good health, because happiness depends on it. I wish you to quickly create a wonderful cell of society and live with your loved one in love and harmony, not knowing the bitterness of parting and coping with problems perfectly. Let only pleasant moments and positive news accompany you, which can please you and bring a spark of brightness and solemnity in your days, which sometimes we all miss.

Happy birthday my dear girlfriend. You became my sister, whom I always dreamed of. You will always listen and understand, give complete advice. Do you remember when we were young, such stupid, naive girls. Now, years have passed, but we are also together. I am happy that I can be friends with you. There is no way to return the past, now we have become adults, wiser, but, as before, we can chat about nothing for hours. Of course, we rarely began to see each other, because everyone has their own concerns and family problems, but I'm even glad. I am happy that you have a life, that you celebrate your birthday in the circle of friends, relatives and friends. Even after twenty years, but I wish you to meet your anniversary in the same circle. And so that you were as young and beautiful as in our young years. With a favorite girlfriend.

My beloved friend! Do not describe in words the feelings of warmth and happiness that I experience when I remember you! Thank you for being always with me, you can always give valuable advice, help or just make you smile during hard times! I appreciate every minute spent side by side with you, and with pride I can say that you occupy the most comfortable corner in my heart! Remain the same sweet, positive and good-natured, and also do not stop admiring your beauty and talents! I would very much like life to light up new lighthouses for you, indulge in joyful events and miracles, and also make you smile sincerely every day! May your life be accompanied by endless happiness, warmth and comfort!

My best friend
Happy Birthday!
Where is my big mug
With apricot jam?
Or a jug of kvass
Have a drink for you right away?
No! Champagne
Yes with pineapple
Raise for you!
I want to wish you
Long, very long life.
Joy to you and happiness.
To value our friendship.
Be fun dear.
Happy Birthday dear!

How to write a letter to a friend: tips

Recently, fewer and fewer people write letters by hand. After all, it is much easier to type a letter on a computer and send it by e-mail. But it also happens that the person to whom the message is addressed does not go on the World Wide Web, there is no mobile phone, and in this case you have to write letters manually. This gives the correspondence a unique touch and soulfulness.

If the sender has no desire (or poor handwriting) to write by hand, then it is quite possible to type a letter on the computer, and at the end of the message put your signature or some kind of drawing to add a note of warmth and your participation.

When the way of writing the message is chosen, but you need to understand, and where to start the letter? Everything will depend on the tone of the letter. In the event that there is a correspondence between two friends, in which there is an exchange of information, news, experiences, then such a message must begin with a standard greeting (hello, hello, etc.). Then the addressee should say a little about himself, preferably something pleasant, in order to interest the reader. Then remember some incident that unites the person who writes the letter and the one who receives this letter. This will remind you of warm moments and relations between people, because when two people do not communicate for a long time, then interest may be lost.

In a letter to a friend, it is very important to ask her about life, work, health, study. In general, to show interest so that a person would like to answer the message. And then, otherwise, if you write only about yourself, you may feel that the author of the letter is selfish. It is not very pleasant to communicate with such a person.

At the end of the letter, it is recommended to indicate all your coordinates, express a desire to continue correspondence and communication, as well as subscribe. Some girls are very emotional and decorate their messages with drawings and stickers. It is not forbidden to do this, on the contrary, it brings spiritual warmth to the correspondence and shows the addressee how much he is dear to the writer. If you wish, you can put a couple of photos of your own in the envelope or with a panorama of your native city, those places where friends spent time.

But the messages are not always nostalgic - for informational purposes, for example, you can write a letter to a friend that she is the best and how her friendship is lacking. Such a letter will be more vivid and emotional. It is very difficult to give a template for writing such messages, since they are written on emotions and from the heart. We can only say that in such messages, beautiful poetry about friendship is often inserted, which can be either your own composition or taken from the Internet. In principle, any work that can affect a person’s heart may be suitable for such a letter. In such a message lovely pictures will harmoniously look.

But it also happens that close people attach and then farewell letters are written to friends. What do these messages contain? It is very difficult to say, because you need to know why, for what reason, friendship ends. So if a farewell letter is written for the reason that the communication has come to naught, but no need to express reproaches and accusations. The message should contain a slightly sad and at the same time nostalgic tone. In the letter you can pick up some pleasant moments, common memories, and in the end say goodbye, wishing all the best, but leaving the person the opportunity to answer the letter.

If a farewell letter is written to the person who betrayed the sender, it is very important to control your emotions. Do not drink citizen insults and curses. It is most reasonable to write farewell letters of this nature first to a draft and re-read on a calm head. It is very important in this message to consistently express your thoughts, talk about resentment, how painful it is to be betrayed, and it is quite possible to end the letter with the phrase that it makes no sense to communicate. Such a message to the addressee will be "digested" more difficult than a letter that would have passed through the negative.

And a couple more tips for writing messages. If the letter is written not by a very close friend, rather familiar, then it is recommended to adhere to an official business style, not to express too many emotions at once, and not to tell too personal information. You can open your soul only to a loved one, and with friends the themes of weather, nature, politics, culture and other social topics are quite suitable, which do not really affect the interests of the addressee and the author of the letter.

A very important point is to respond to emails on time. So, if today a person received a letter, then, if possible, you need to answer it on the same day. Such an approach will allow maintaining friendly relations, even at a distance, for many years. And besides this, when a person writes his thoughts, and especially the event of the last days on paper, this allows him to better analyze the situation and understand the life troubles, if any.

Writing letters is not at all difficult, but on the contrary it’s nice. Moreover, according to scientists, letters develop thinking. The main thing is to write them from the heart and then the messages will come out not only informative, but also very sincere and kind.