Consider a simple mathematical analogy. If the equation x + y = 20 can have an infinite number of solutions until the value of one of the unknowns is precisely specified, then the equation “I” + “Ideal Partner” = “Happiness” also cannot be solved until both terms are unknown values. And since the “sought-after” with us is an ideal partner, we should start by determining the exact meaning of “I”. That is - from yourself. Count yourself, find your numerical value, and the task will be reduced to a simple 12 + y = 20. Third grade high school ..
For this, there is a numerological map, a psomatrix, and, in fact, the whole of Numerology as a science - to give you the opportunity to see and understand yourself, evaluate your capabilities, your "pluses" and "minuses". And, having thus obtained a clear idea of his personality, calculate the unknown through the known. And that means solving the most important equation in life.
Criteria for choosing the right partner for the relationship
My experience as a family psychologist suggests that you will not be able to build and develop a serious relationship if you do not take into account these basic criteria in choosing the right partner for you:
- The criterion of material well-being. If you are below the poverty line and your potential spouse candidate is in the TOP 50 of the Forbs list, nothing will come of it. Look for a partner at about the same level of material wealth as you do not try to solve money problems at the expense of a partner. It is better to find a person with the potential to earn capital in the process of family life.
- Criterion of level of education. It is advisable to look for the future spouse of the same level of education. If you have two higher ones behind you and you are not going to stop, choose a candidate for a life partner in an educational environment similar to you.
- Family status criteria. If you are the only child in the family or the youngest, choose a future spouse among older children. Those are used to taking care, and you are used to getting care “from above” or simply to attention. In other cases it will be more difficult - you will fight for attention to your own person.
- Criteria for having a child. If you do not like children, or are not ready to adopt and accept your potential partner as your child, then immediately look among those who have not yet gotten their own child.
- Independence criterion. Suppose you have long stood on your wing and even acquired your own housing, provide for yourself, and you even manage to save some of what you have earned, this is a signal to choose among people who are as independent as you are candidates for your fate.
- The criterion of opposites. Look for the person opposite to you in psychotype and temperament. If you are a sensor, look for intuition. If you are an extrovert, let the introvert become your companion. If you are a logician to the core, look for a person with ethical and moral principles. Opposites are attracted and have no cause for conflict, but they are a great team, and this is what you need to create a family. Look for clues in the theory of socionics in more detail.
- The criterion of lifestyle. If your future partner is used to living according to a strict plan, and you change your goals in the course of the play - this is a very serious reason to quarrel at one fine moment, of which, believe me, there will be many.
These are far from all the criteria that you need to remember in your search for a partner; you need to take into account life positions: your own and your future partner in family life.
Your soulmate's birthday
This subsection is designed to help you figure out which woman and which man with a probability of more than “50/50” may become the most suitable pair for a specific representative of each birth date.
If you like, these are the coordinates of the area of greater nibbling. The information provided will help you understand which option is best to focus on. And sometimes - and to discard doubts caused by minor troubles that the choice was made correctly.
How to find the right person
This material contains detailed “instructions” on this subject. Which, at the same time, are so simple and understandable that it’s almost impossible to “get to know”. However, all this will not be of paramount importance if you manage to meet a person who is ideally suited to you. Mutual interest will be so clear that there will be no room for doubt. You will see your mirror image, which, by the way, will give you a unique opportunity to consider and evaluate yourself as if from the outside.
How to get location
This is the most unsteady ground on which nascent relationships have every chance of "drowning" if you blindly trust the irresponsible advice of "experienced comrades." Who has not heard such, for example, the maxim: “Men do not like smart women. The simpler the better. ” Holy truth - stupid men hate smart women. But ask yourself, do you really need this particular example of male stupidity so that you can make a fool of yourself for it? And maybe everything will turn out much easier and simpler if you seek the attention of a person who is more suitable for you intellectually?
In fact, you should begin with a search for a person whose qualities are most consistent with your own. After you “discover” it and outline your intentions, you just have to behave naturally and show exactly as much attention to the events as it is necessary for their development. Your “object” will very soon feel the presence of a potential “couple” next to it and will not slow down “meet you”. Although knowing for sure which of your actions will make a favorable impression on him will not hurt.
Which character of the partner suits you?
Obviously, this section requires the most careful study. The “subject” of your aspirations can have a lot of very attractive advantages and can be called “packed one hundred percent”, but “you have to live with character,” and therefore it is this quality of personality that is of paramount importance.
Leaving aside the level of conformity in this category, you can make a fatal mistake and, figuratively speaking, either “get bruised” about the character of the chosen one (too hard), or not find support at all and “fall into” it (too sluggish or completely absent).
Therefore, be very serious about the data below. This will increase the likelihood of making the right choice, and therefore your chances of getting the “main prize”.
Which energy partner is right for you?
Energy is not related to temperament, but rather the opposite. This is an indicator of an internal force capable of resisting instinctive desires, acting “contrary to”, doing “through reluctance”. And that means - to concede, take into account the common goals and put them above their own selfish impulses.
Is there anything more valuable for a harmonious partnership than this ability? Unlikely. Therefore, the search for a “pair” by coincidence of this packer is not just reasonable and logically justified. Energy compliance is a mutual readiness for a compromise, without which no mutual attraction and material base will guarantee family well-being.
And one more thing: harmony of power engineers is an opportunity to nourish a weaker partner, to increase its vitality. Therefore, there is a general rule of choice: the coincidence of energy indicators is undesirable, because, as you know, equivalent charges are repelled.
Selection of a partner for 8 basic parameters of a psycho-portrait
This section of Numerology - the most important section - is devoted to a method that allows you to identify the ideal partner for you by comparing your key psychometric parameters. Or, in other words, through a comparative analysis of your psychomatrix.
What is the point? But the essence, speaking the language of mechanics, is to be able to pre-determine the potential "coefficient of performance" of joint efforts. How? Yes, just to see how exactly the teeth of the gears coincide, providing the same torque without which no movement is possible. Coincide - the mechanism works. No - it wedges, and the teeth of the gears break apart. All. “Not subject to repair.” Just throw it away.
Our “teeth” are: Purposefulness, Family, Stability, Self-esteem, Talent, Efficiency, Temperament, Spirituality
Everything is obvious, isn't it? If, figuratively speaking, the “stability wave” of the partner is tightly attached to your “wave of family”, and the “wave of talent”, respectively, to the “wave of spirituality”, then we are going! Of course, there are hundreds of options here, and each of them is correctly calculated. You will find the one you need.
It is no coincidence that this personality trait was in the first position. After all, purposefulness is the sounded answer to the question asked about the meaning of life. “Where and why am I going?” Once a person has this quality, then he knows “where and why.”
A characteristic feature of determination is that it plays a key role in shaping a person’s personality, his attitude to life. If there is a strong and clear motivation, all other qualities are assigned a service role. They are only tools used as needed during the work process and remain without use if their manifestations do not fit into the framework of the set goal. And in certain cases - and becoming an obstacle, which is better to get rid of.
Therefore, purposefulness in itself cannot be considered as a symbolic component of personality. What matters is its quality fullness, its positive or negative charge.
Family as a desire to “live in a couple” was initially determined by purely physiological needs. A person “enters into a time” and begins to search for himself a suitable partner so that the next stage of his life proceeds in accordance with the “established program”. Only here the “programs” are different for everyone, and if one - “even into the loop”, then the other - it can do.
A completely different matter is a meaningful, mature desire for an alliance based on an understanding of one’s role and responsibility associated with its fulfillment. This approach guarantees a conscious attitude to marriage on at least one side. If there is a partner who is ready to take on “counter obligations”, then there are no more visible reasons that can destroy these bonds from the inside.
However, the family is called the "cell of society" not just "for the sake of a red word." And this must be understood. Understand that giving up a single life in favor of family life, you become part of the system, accept its rules. And that means that they are ready for the fact that failure to fulfill them will entail the intervention of the system in your personal life.
Speaking about stability as a human quality, it should be judged just like that - humanly. Since if the immobility of the foundation of a building requires only immobility, static, then with our stability it is just the opposite. It is a constant movement and hard work.
The stability of family life can be ensured by the efforts of one partner only in the material part, and this is only an external impression. In fact, a stable position is always the merit of two, because even the most responsible “getter” will sooner or later lose his hands if he does not see an adequate response to his actions.
A sense of mutual understanding, a mutual desire for balance, a willingness to support, and if necessary, replace, take on unusual functions - this is the basis of stable family relationships. Moreover, it is much more durable than material security, especially if it is the merit of only one. "Pay", in the end, anyone can.
Self-esteem is perhaps the most non-specific characteristic of a human person. And the most unstable, because it depends on the relationship of objective opinion to subjective at any given time.
Therefore, it should be treated with close attention, and sometimes with caution. Otherwise, there is a great risk of having a relationship with a person who is not only incapable of reinforcing his words with real actions, but also prone to commit illogical, unjustifiable actions just to preserve the impressions made on others.
Your own self-esteem must have objective grounds, otherwise you will become a moral “time bomb”.
It may seem that we are talking only about excessive self-esteem. Not at all. Underestimating their capabilities is equally undesirable, as in some cases it can cause even more unpleasant consequences.
In the end, life, of course, will show how this or that opinion about oneself corresponded to reality. It is important that this does not happen too late.
What is talent - everyone knows. It’s so good that the phrase “talented, it means that he will drink” somewhere, has become a popular sign. But jokes are jokes, and life with a talented person can really be anything. We, within the framework of this topic, are most likely interested not in the very presence of talent, but in the attitude of the carrier to his gift.
If a talented person treats his abilities as a unique tool and uses it accordingly, then living with him is a great happiness. The presence of talent creates an atmosphere of magic, and enthusiasm for the creative process can push any everyday difficulties into the background.
But if the carrier makes a fetish out of his gift, an idol, the service of which must be devoted all his life, then there will no longer be anything else in this life. An alliance with such a person is voluntary slavery at the temple, where even “compulsory three meals a day” is not guaranteed.
Therefore, when the moment of the first enthusiasm passes, you need to ask a talented person how he evaluates his gift. And try to hear the answer.
And since everyone strives for well-being in one form or another, it is this quality that should be considered the primary basis for the well-being of both the individual and the family.
Actually, this is a common truth known to everyone. Therefore, even very wealthy people, choosing a partner for life, give preference not to an idle loafer, but to someone who managed to find a worthy occupation. And not because the contribution of this partner is so important. Just the ability to work is a sign of an integral personality, the presence of a certain inner core. And who needs a spineless one? You can’t rely on him for anything.
And absolutely right are those who, when they are planning to start a family, pay special attention not to promising external parameters, but to their internal potential and existing real achievements.
Efficiency is often mistakenly identified with workaholism, fixation on work. This is not true at the root. No wonder the wise Seneca said: “You need to work wisely, and not until night.”
Spirituality. Almost forgotten in our materialistic age concept. But the fact that we almost stopped using the word does not mean at all that the phenomenon itself has disappeared. At least I really want to hope so.
The only quality on our list that should be considered more likely to be acquired than innate. Although, of course, this is a moot point.
The presence of spirituality, spirituality in a person’s personality outwardly can manifest itself very, very differently. But, nevertheless, these manifestations cannot be confused with anything else.
In the framework of living together, this quality is the most powerful force, because it is thanks to it that moments sometimes come when all the words spoken are unimportant, and not the spoken ones are not needed. And everything leaves. All that remains is without which no connection has any meaning or purpose - a kinship of souls, intimacy, which has no name in any language, but which everyone has at least once felt.
There are many temperaments, as types of higher nervous activity, but this is a separate conversation. In this case, we are interested in a different meaning of this word - sensuality, sexual activity.
Often, it is the coincidence of temperament levels that becomes the key to building the most vivid, non-trivial relationships. And not only relations of an intimate plan - the whole life together, each stage of it, all any significant events can be the result of the manifestation of these personality traits.
Another important point: no other quality of a person does not imply such wide opportunities for adjustment by mutual influence. And the possibility of such a two-way influence makes the partnership active, interesting, gives it a special acuteness and original shade. “Female sensuality is the source in which male spirituality is renewed.” Karl Kraus.
At the same time, nothing more than a discrepancy in this position is one of the most common causes of problems for partners. Столкновение разных темпераментов нередко рассматривается обеими сторонами как повод для прекращения взаимоотношений. И пресловутое «не сошлись характерами» – просто иносказание, используемое для описания этой ситуации.
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