To find out about the feelings of a lover, you can ask him the right question. For example, “what do you value in me?”, “Why do you like me?”, “Do you really love me?”
But it’s very difficult to ask: “Do you respect me?” It sounds like a drunken glass, as if thinking for three. But there is no need to ask: look at his behavior and you will understand everything. And how to understand this - now read.
Trust in loyalty
From the article How to Obtain Respect from a Man, you will find out how important a hunting passion is to a man at the beginning of a relationship. He predetermines the further course of the novel of a couple in love and the respect of a man for his lady of the heart.
If she didn’t jump to his bed immediately after meeting her, then her invisible armor was very strong, so there shouldn’t be any problems with cheating - it’s too hard a booty.
I had to suffer a lot with such a woman in order to seduce her - a simple flirtation did not lead to anything serious. Yes, I had to run after her, spend money, apply all the men's tricks, but it was worth it.
But she did not reject her boyfriend, but, on the contrary, let him know that she liked him. She was ready for sex, but preferred to test both herself and him on the strength of the relationship. Fast sex would provoke an early breakup.
And only when the development of the novel is in full swing, the man himself will no longer be afraid of his horns and ridicule of his friends. Especially if the lady of his heart continues to behave with dignity: she is honest and sincere with him.
How will his respect be shown:
He will not be jealous of her without much reason. He understands that it is not so easy to taunt this girl, this requires time and special masculine qualities.
He easily lets his lover go to a party with friends and a corporate party. He respects her free time, and she has a calm heart - she’s not a “hanger”, even if she drinks.
He completely trusts her. And this is a high degree of respect. He believes her words, even if she justifies being late for a date with an absurd series of events. He will not double-check, because more than once he was convinced of her honesty.
But for complete harmony, a woman, too, must unconditionally trust her lover, otherwise the balance in the relationship will be violated. The article How to create trust in relationships will help you with this.
Unfortunately, things are not always so smooth. Suppose a woman shamelessly surrendered to a man immediately after meeting, and the fame of her turbulent past is very bad. But it so happened that the man fell in love. Maybe he will not respect her, but he will try his best. In any case, his behavior will speak for itself:
He will courageously defend his beloved from the attacks of gossips, forcing them to even shut up.
He will talk about her only good things, even to his friends who dissuade him from such a relationship.
He would rather quarrel with all relatives, friends and acquaintances, rather than abandon his beloved woman.
In his heart he will sacredly believe that his beloved will change and will not allow more profligacy. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, but the guy still forgives his gulen and seeks an excuse for her by gagging the gossip. And that too, oddly enough, respect. True, it is miserable, insignificant and humiliating.
Respect for interests
Male and female hobbies often vary. It’s not often that you meet a girl sitting for hours over a fishing rod and it’s hard to imagine a man who embroiders patterns on the hoop.
And still it’s a shame if a man does not take female hobbies seriously. This is her life, her “sedative medicine”, her joy. Well, let's take the simplest option: a girl spends a lot of time embroidering with beads, and here is how a man's disrespect is expressed about her hobby:
Do you suffer from garbage? What is the use of these dust collectors? The whole wall is already tastelessly hung. Did not try to sell? No? And then what is the point? And who will buy this garbage, who needs it?
What kind of mess on your table - beads, threads, rags? Why clutter up everything around you? Creative chaos? And why the hell do you need it, if you still have hands growing from the wrong place?
Now this hobby is no longer relevant. You sit like an old grandmother over this stuff. I already sat out fat sides, it would be better if I went to the gym, there are more benefits, and the passion for the gym is much more modern.
But there are obvious signs for you when a man fully respects your interests, which means you along with them:
Listen how cool you do it! Super! Of course, I don’t understand anything about this, but in my opinion you have unrivaled talent.
Why can't you date today? Inspiration for work covered? Okay, I understand everything, then don’t be late tomorrow.
Look what I brought to you as a gift! This is the frame for your new picture. I think you will like its shape, and it’s suitable in color.
Top respect and respect for the man himself for understanding and attentiveness. A frame as a gift is the pinnacle of his attentiveness, because men so rarely can choose a worthy gift. You can even read about it in the article Why a man does not give gifts.
But this applies not only to hobbies and hobbies. Interests may be different:
- purpose in life
- vision of your future
- choice of profession,
- clothing style.
Mocking criticism of these things is inappropriate. If a man is imbued with your ideas, takes this seriously, and develops this thought even more, trying to find advantages and disadvantages in them, then this is a clear sign of his respect for you.
He listens to your opinion.
It’s not that he was trying to get under your heel - he just sees in you a woman with a living mind, and not a dummy. He does not dismiss your suggestions; he seriously thinks about them.
If he does not quite believe in the success of your ideas, he still takes them into development, consulting with you. If everything works out, then he will never appropriate all the merits personally to himself, he will divide them into two.
He will not give cause for jealousy
He understands how painful this feeling is. Therefore, women, except you, do not exist for him at all.
Courting other ladies does not appear in his intimate sense. He can invite some girl to dance, help her put on a coat and the like. But this is just a demonstration of his gallantry, no more.
He will always come to the rescue
In his vocabulary there are no words “I can’t”, “I don’t want”, “I have no time” if you have a serious problem. He will rush at the first call when some kind of trouble threatens you.
It even happens that he feels a serious threat in your voice in advance. He will give up all business and immediately rush to save you, even if it may affect his reputation or health.
He respects your freedom and time.
He will never make a sudden date if it’s uncomfortable for you, but he’s suddenly "really needed". He will coordinate everything in advance and will not be capricious even if you simply have no mood.
He himself will never be late for a date, making you wait alone. The exception is some force majeure. And then, he will warn you about the problem by message or by phone.
All male respect can evaporate if you start to use his attitude towards you insolently. Vagaries, perseverance, set conditions, requirements to come for a different trifle - all this quickly begins to strain.
Afraid of losing your attentive gentleman? Then do not repeat the mistakes listed in the article Why Men Don't Respect Women. Mutual politeness is expensive. Not financially, of course, but morally. Where is the guarantee that you will find another one of the same: a friend respecting you and a loved one? Nowhere!
MYTH: nowadays men have ceased to respect women
Nope, didn’t stop. And it is easy to guess that such things are said by women who do not feel respect from men.
At the same time, in a wonderful and incomprehensible way for me, instead of asking myself a legitimate question “ maybe if they do not respect me, then the problem is in me. “, A woman (out of habit, probably) brings blame on all the men of the world.
But what really happens?
In fact, there really are (and quite a few) men who are poorly raised, raised * by blows, brought up by people with mental injuries, brought up by those who generally should not be trusted to raise their children, brought up by low-level environment.
So there are men who are not inferior even to pregnant women to places in public transport, men who call women "women", "hides", "holes" and even worse, men who, at any opportunity, humiliate women, etc.
One Saturday morning I went to the gym. And I heard a piece of conversation between two men drinking beer on a bench. And one of them told the other something like:
- ... this mop needs to be put to the stove. (pause) All of them have a place there, they climb for some reason to high positions ...
I don’t know who he was talking about, but! Feel the situation: man. Looks bad. Obviously very poor. Muffles beer on a bench. Saturday morning. And at the same time he feels superior to women who have achieved some career success.
So, that's what I am ... Such men were, are and will be, as long as there are irresponsible parents, ill-bred parents, people with a traumatic psyche, people who traumatize the psyche, as well as girls who paint a black spot on all women as a whole.
And if you as a woman are not respected by men of this kind, you need to ask not the question “what to do to be respected?”, But the question “what am I still doing among this rotten environment?”
Because there are a huge number of good men . Smart, educated, decent, adequate.
And if such men do not respect any woman, then she should think hard about herself as the source of the problem, and not complain that men have ceased to respect women.
MYTH: A man respects the woman he loves!
A bit wrong. Love follows respect, not respect follows love .
Many couples disagree because one of the partners has lost respect for the second. And without respect, there is no love.
Therefore, the logic “well, he loves me - now I can do what I want, respect is a bonus to love” is incorrect.
By the way, the expression "a man loves a woman whom he respects" is also not quite true, because you can respect without love.