We will analyze the situation when a girl is pursued by an ex-boyfriend. We formulate it more clearly: the persecution is not limited to messages on the phone and tear meetings at the entrance. It is about the inappropriate behavior of a young man. You are being bullied, blackmailed, insulted. Hard moral pressure is occurring. You are verbally smeared on the wall, using your vulnerable nature. So you can reach the edge yourself, which you can’t allow.
"When they kill, then call."
Do not expect the police to take a lively part in your painful parting with the young man. The task of police officers to catch criminals. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to anticipate crimes, as in the film "Minority Report". Therefore, his promises to “kill both” and other youthful insinuations are unlikely to be continued in the form of a criminal case.
If you are being harassed by an ex-boyfriend, chances are that this person is mentally unwell. But this does not mean that on your first call he will be “sent to a psychiatric hospital." There are few free beds in hospitals, especially psychiatric ones. The disease of the twenty-first century continues to devour human minds. This is a scientifically proven fact. The chance to dress up in a straitjacket is only for especially dangerous and seriously ill people who have ruined human life.
Interview with a Vampire
They are not afraid of death. This is the same type of guys who are ready to jump down to prove their love. So they express feelings, absolutely not understanding what the girl wants to see next to her is not "Spider-Man", but just a reliable, calm, loving guy. One of the forms of love blackmail is precisely that the young man threatens to do mortal harm to himself if the beloved does not return to him.
Imagine this scene: the rejected hero-lover is having a lively conversation with a pair of strong defenders of his ex-girlfriend. Let's say these are bodyguards hired by parents. The guy is asked to "leave in a good way," but he replies that "you are working out the loot", and I, they say, am ready to die in the name of love. So we talked. And what do you want Romeo to do with this? Himself in a thin jacket, like a speck swinging in the wind, recently I finished school.
Here is a vampire. It feeds on your energy. We can do without mysticism. Save aspen stake in case of emergency. Here, the assault will look like heroic suffering, and the fight, like another feat on the love front. Any attempt to intimidate will only inspire this knight of a sad image to new “exploits” in the name of a great goal. As a result, you suffer. You have to retire from social networks, look around on the street, not pick up the phone.
Run until it's too late
It is unlikely that you can build a new relationship if you are being pursued by an ex-boyfriend. With such a "trailer" is not far to go. Therefore, we must leave the past in the past. If the situation is out of control, it is best to disappear from the field of view of your former "maniac." Change your phone number, delete your account, live in another place. Have to get out of your comfort zone. Better than going to a hospital or floor for a stone slab to ancestors.
This is not a shameful escape, but the salvation of one’s emotional state from constant persecution. Talk to your parents, friends. Loving people will surely understand and support you. A very good coincidence may be your move to another city for admission to study or employment. The farther you are from the maniac, the more difficult it will become for him to pursue you. A maniac is a man, not some kind of demon. He needs shelter, food, sleep, and livelihoods. Put your maniac in a habitat where his life will become unbearable.
At risk or all ages
Virtually anyone can become your personal maniac. It is not necessary at all that you are being pursued by a boy who regularly carried a briefcase to you at school. This may be a mature forty-year-old man to whom you did not reciprocate. All ages are submissive to love, as, indeed, to mental disorders. With age, men often develop various complexes, and psychological traumas accumulate. You can’t blame it, but you don’t need to put up with it.
At risk: people from the criminal world, participants in hostilities, people are just not too strong-minded. It doesn’t mean at all that they all pose a heightened danger to the female sex. It is important to understand that certain life events do not pass unnoticed for a man’s mental health. A broken psyche is not fully restored. Outwardly, a person can be absolutely adequate until another stress occurs. And it’s a bad thing if this stress is caused by a woman.
Special services, various security officials and simply non-poor gentlemen, sometimes use their position for amorous purposes. Tracking where a woman is is not difficult for them. Further - at personal discretion: to appear in the apartment, bring to tears, ruin your personal life. All this does not honor either the officer or the ordinary man. But the alien soul is darkness. Everyone has the right to express their feelings, the main thing is not to hurt the feelings of others.
Both women and men can be stalked. However, according to research, men make up 83% of stalkers, and women - about two-thirds of victims of stalking. About 50% of stalkers are former partners who begin the persecution after separation or divorce.
According to a 2010 study, in the USA every 4th woman and every 13th man was stalked.
Although stalkers themselves often claim that their actions are dictated by attraction, love or jealousy, according to psychologists, the true motivation for stalkers is the desire to establish control over the victim. The behavior of stalkers, as a rule, is cyclical in nature and in this is similar to domestic violence: starting with attempts to “prove your love”, sending letters, flowers or gifts to the victim, the stalker then goes on to insults and threats that can ultimately be executed .
According to surveys, as a result of stalking, victims experience fear and anxiety, begin to suffer from panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia, and depression. Victims can also suffer economic losses associated with reduced ability to work, forced purchase of goods for self-defense, forced change of job or even place of residence.
In the case of stalking by a former partner, the persecution is often accompanied by physical violence, including the killing of the victim. According to a 1998 National Violence Against Women survey in the United States, three quarters of women who were victimized by their intimate partners were also physically abused by their partner. According to another study, 76% of women who were killed by a partner or former partner were persecuted by their killers for the 12 months prior to the murder.
In many countries, stalking is a crime. However, certain actions and tactics used by stalkers may be legal - for example, collecting information, making phone calls, gifts, sending letters, electronic or instant messages. These actions are considered illegal when they violate the legal definition of harassment. For example, according to the laws of Great Britain, two incidents are enough to qualify behavior as stalking, provided that the stalker is aware of the undesirability of his actions: it can be two phone calls to a stranger, two gifts, one case of physically following the victim and one phone call, etc. P.